


sail on, silver girl

by doji_oji



Series: girl!sam [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, He tries okay, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective John Winchester, Teenchesters, Weechesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 23:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12618032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doji_oji/pseuds/doji_oji
Summary: Sometimes, Dean Winchester thinks that he was born to carry his baby sister out of burning buildings.*Or, the one where Sam is a girl.





	sail on, silver girl

**Author's Note:**

> So uh this is the first part of what I'm planning to be a new series which starts off canon-friendly then diverges majorly a little way into Season 1. Because another series is just what I need right now. Yay.

Sometimes, Dean Winchester thinks that he was born to carry his baby sister out of burning buildings.

And not in a fucking symbolic way, either, because they’re Winchesters, and their lives are a cosmic fucking joke.

It wasn’t easy then, because he was four years old and his mother was dead and his house was burning and his dad had said _take your sister outside as fast as you can_ and pushed the entire universe into Dean’s arms and disappeared; and it isn’t easy now, because Sam is verging on six feet in flat shoes and she’s fighting him with everything she has (which is a fucking lot, she’s long since been capable of knocking Dean into the dirt, and Dean hasn’t uttered the words _hit like a girl_ in ten years and he never will again), screaming _James, no, no_ , and her hair is in his mouth and her nails are scratching his arms to shreds but he doesn’t let go, because this is what Dean Winchester _can_ do, he can carry his baby sister out of burning buildings, and in the face of that, what fucking matters? What _fucking matters_?

Sam is the only fucking thing that matters.

 

*

 

Dean remembers being three years old and his mother, long hair curling gold in the sunlight, telling him _you’re going to have a baby sister, Dean, isn’t that exciting_ and Dean, being three years old and a fucking idiot, looked at her big round belly and pictured a future full of Barbies and pink plastic castles and said _ew_ but his mother only laughed and replied _I think she’ll surprise you, honey_ which, yeah, that’s one way of putting it. Since the day she was born, Samantha fucking Winchester has done nothing but surprise him.

 

*

 

Dean drives until they hit the city limits, and then he drives some more, and then he pulls in at the first motel he sees and throws cash at the guy behind the desk without really counting it and practically drags Sam into the room and sits her fully clothed in the bathtub and turns on the shower and starts washing away the smoke and soot and doesn’t ever think about the fact that his mouth tastes like burnt blonde hair and ashes.

 

*

 

Dean remembers being thirteen years old and arguing with Sam over something completely stupid, because they were fucking kids who spent practically every goddamn hour of every goddamn day together, and Jesus, could Dean just get _five fucking minutes_ without this annoying brat hanging off him, and it eventually devolved into a back-and-forth of name calling and Sam said _you’re a butthead_ and Dean said _yeah well you’re a cunt_ because he heard some of the older kids at school saying it and _he was a fucking idiot, okay_ , and Dad grabbed Dean up by the collar and shook him and thundered _you don’t ever say that word to her again, you understand me_ and Dean squeaked out _yessir_ and then Sam was there saying _it’s okay, Dad, I don’t even know what it means_ and Dad huffed and puffed and subsided, and later when he was asleep at the table with his head on a pile of books Sam rolled over in bed and looked at Dean through the neon-striped darkness and said _I was lying, I know what it means_ and Dean realised then that this kid would be the fucking death of him one day.

 

*

 

Sam pulls on one of Dean’s ratty band T-shirts and a pair of his jeans and cinches the belt as tight as it will go; then she twists her long wet hair into a severe knot on the crown of her head and slips on her shoes and Dean jumps up and blurts _whoa, Sam, where are you going_ and she says dully _to get some fucking clothes_ (oh, right, because the clothes she was wearing are soaking wet and stink of smoke and everything else is cinders, and Dean wants to throw up and hit something and cry, not necessarily in that order). She doesn’t look at him as she steps outside, and Dean grabs up his jacket and follows her and wishes he could turn back the fucking clock.

 

*

 

Dean remembers being nineteen years old and cornering Sam’s first boyfriend ( _TimTomTadWhoeverthefuck_ ) in the hallway at school and he was halfway into the _if you ever hurt her_ speech when Sam showed up and said _what the fuck are you doing_ and punched him so hard his nose bled and hissed _I’m not a fucking damsel in distress you fucking asshole, fuck you_ and she got detention and Dean got a band-aid and John tried to look stern but he was laughing, and fuck, it was worth it. Sam can fight her own fucking battles.

 

*

 

Dean stands in some shitty strip mall Wal-Mart with his hands in his pockets and watches Sam throw multipacks of sports bras into the cart like they’ve wronged her and wants his dad, because fuck, he’s Dean Winchester, he’s never claimed to be any goddamned good at this shit, he needs a fucking adult, but then Sam is sobbing into a two-dollar shirt and he says _hey little sister, I’ve got you, it’s okay_ and pulls her into his arms and strokes her hair and really, this is just another burning building, and once again Dean is standing here with the whole universe in his arms and he can do this.

They’ll make it, he thinks, closing his eyes. They’ll make it, because she’s Sam, and they’re Winchesters, and they always fucking do.   



End file.
